A Considered Reply to the Hottest 100 2018

It’s GABS Hottest 100 time again. The dust has settled on this year’s poll, and we’ve all agreed on the best beers in the land. I really relish these times where we come together and celebrate all the fun of the beer world, from Balter at #1, to whatever else came in. Now is time to gaze inwardly at the state of beer commentary on social media. These brave men and women who log in to Facebook and Instagram and start bashing the keys in the hope their comments will be picked up and magnified so the whole world can see the insight and cutting edge commentary they make. Well fortunately for them, I’m here to pass a megaphone to the champions and legends giving them the respect and celebration they deserve.

The popularity of Dan Murphy’s comments is definitely on the rise this year. You know that place that sells a third of all alcohol in the country? Turns out what they sell is reflective of the wider market.  Here’s Mikey:

 Can we rename this to the Dan Murphy’s / commercial beer countdown? The fact that GABS has Coopers Pale Ale and Furphy’s even mentioned let alone in the top #30 makes this vote lose all credibility

Mikey then makes another post to tell us about his jokes yesterday. Stale then, stale today. Anyway, he’s resting his case:

Joked yesterday that it was a Dan Murphy’s countdown…I went to the GABS website and their major sponsor and first sponsor listed is none other than….DAN MURPHYS! I rest my case…

Lawyered! But we aren’t done yet. Greggo rolls in to make his case too. He doesn’t really make a case, he just says a fact. You will never pass the bar with this garbage Greggy boy.

Not one Hawkers in the top 100. I rest my case. Next year maybe now it’s at Dans

He didn’t rest his case because here he is again.

Joke! Be same top 3 as last year. Dan’s top 100.

Dean  seems like such a fun dude – here’s a grab bag of his thoughts:

  • Dan Murphy’s Top 10
  • Horrible beer by a horrible brewery
  • Hardly any flavour. A cowards beer

A coward’s beer! What a weird way to think about beer. Also angry is Candide. All over Facey just yelling at people. He didn’t even give Adam a chance to respond to his witty repartee.

Candide Luccirosso ..and i do this whilst lamenting the lack of east-coast brew-kings like Dainton and Hawkers in the list, or the BWS nature of the top 10. anyhoo, wheres your votes Adam Grossel…yeah, like i thought. stfu

“Like I thought, in the time that I’ve typed an ellipses, you didn’t tell me.” Also “East-Coast Brew Kings”. Get your hand off it mate.

I don’t know why this dude is spelling it “bier” but apparently #1 and #2 are not the beers we drink.

disappointing! #1 and #2 are not the Craft Biers we drink! not sure who votes for them and/or supports the apparent #1 and #2 Brewery’s, but it’s not me and/or any of my mates, of whom like and enjoy GOOD Bier! not sure what’s going on here, but I disagree of the outcome.

He’s not sure what’s going on but he disagrees with the outcome. Imagine typing that out and thinking “yes, this is how I would like to portray myself to the world, a person who has no understanding”.


Other than Dan Murphy’s the ungainly topic of politics reared its head; like this bloke whinging at Brews News for broadcasting on the day of the list, and not the day before. Covering himself in glory and piss as he wets himself over a public holiday.

This should have been done yesterday the 26th Jan on Australia Day NOT the 27th. Shuvit up your A*** Brews News.

For people unfamiliar with the proud tradition of Australia Day dates all the way back to 1994 and celebrates some ships landing or something, I dunno, I’m not from here and even the Prime Minister doesn’t really seem to know. In its proud 25 year history it has become primarily associated with getting drunk and listening the Triple J Hottest 100 songs countdown, until Triple J decided to move the countdown. This beer countdown was piggybacking off the radio one, so moved it too. The reasoning is some people think celebrating the start of murder, mistreatment and years of oppression of Australia’s indigenous people, isn’t a good occasion for a pissup. Naturally this fella sees that as an attack on his identity because… I don’t know. Who can understand why people are the way they are?

Another dude on the “Australia Day” pants pissing train is Luka. He leads into it with a weird variety of words. Things like “contravene”,  “fascicle” (which is in fact a word, I looked it up, but it is mostly to do with bones and stuff) and “grandstanding virtue has nothing to do with beer”. lol come on dude.

I think this count down has be come irrelevant, It’s more of an exercise in marketing and reach and nothing to do with good beer. Evident by the fact that far too many really average beers make the pointy end of the list while the smaller producers have to literally beg their local customer base to vote for them.
Most really good beers are seasonal releases and will never be sampled by the larger craft beer drinking community so any legitimacy to this poll is fascicle at best.
Added to this it’s clearly being run in contravene to Australia day thereby politicising the whole event. If you wanted to stay clear of controversy run it in another month, Grandstanding virtue has nothing to do with beer.

Speaking of big words:

I think you’ve nailed the difference between sophisticated and less so societies. The more sophisticated are comfortable in their preferences and do not need/demand they be validated by others let alone a majority. Such need for validation is based on low self esteem. Achieve it and then you lose the micro aspect; or least you move on to the next lesser known fave introduced by another……

Jesus christ, What are you talking about? It’s a beer popularity vote why are you telling us about self esteem? Surely these comments can’t get more insufferable.

But yeah once again the gabs hottest 100 proves to be a fine example of the tyranny of the majority. This is why Socrates hated democracy.

Ok yeah ok. Maybe everyone just needs to reign it in a bit aye.


Mike is no longer taking it seriously.

I no longer take this top 100 seriously and won’t be excited for it. Most likely won’t even vote next year. Absolute joke. May as well put Carlton draught in the top 10

Come on Mikey, have some conviction. “Most likely” won’t even vote. We need more people like Neil. Two comments, both calling it a joke and making it clear he will never be voting again. No wishy washy language.

  • This list is already a joke. The voters have virgin pallets.
  • I will never be voting again. What a joke this list is becoming.

Really looking forward to Virgin Pallets at Laneway Festival this year.  Anyway he’s still not mad enough. We want someone real steamed:


Oh yeah just hook that shit to my veins. Jeff, rocking the all caps is what I live for. If the list is losing voters (well two so far, because we can definitely sway ‘Mikey Most Likely’ back next year) maybe GABS needs to shake it up a bit. My man Jarrod has some ideas.

 Maybe GABS needs to expand in their criteria. Column A for rats piss,
Column B for craft beer with a side of contract,
Column C for real craft beer…

ehh not feeling the rats piss category, if I’m honest. Maybe John has some good ideas:

Voting should be restricted to a person only allowed to vote for the same beer style or brewery once, to prevent 5 average beers being picked by a single voter, that only enjoys commercial beer

Guess not.  What else ya got John?

How many of these people that voted, start shaking when they see a beer over 5%. Very predictable list of the most commercial beers that have been around for years. Only 3 decent beers in top 30 (no.8, 9 and 18). How the voters can think balter and pirate life are the best IIPA’s in oz is beyond be – ballistic, batch, brendale, 3ravens, Bacchus smash them

A lot to unpack here. Firstly, implying people are scared of strong beer, and then saying your favourites are Kaiju Krush (a 4.7% easy drinker with a cartoon pineapple on the label), Jedi Juice (heaps stronger but very much a fruit juice tasting beer) and Boozy Fruit – a 6% sickly sweet beer based on a icecream. Hardly palate shaking stuff mate.  And he raises a good point about other brewers making better IIPAs, like *squints* Brendale?

How a tiny brewpub in suburban Brisbane, who has only traded under the name since May last year, didn’t crack this list, is beyond me.

This next dude called Furphy “gay” and someone called him out.

 Yep. Not affending gays but furphys is poop. #Notsorry

Geez, It’s 2019. You have spellcheck on your phone and computer. At least use it, and then maybe consider not being a fuckwit?

Graeme really tried to get his Logies commentary to catch on with these four posts. It did not.

  • Mark Wilkinson, it’s the Logies. What do you expect.
  • Balter XPA wins the Gold Logie.
  • Are you implying that Grant Denyer is not the best TV talent in Australia?
  • Grant Denyer won the Gold Logie. How is this different?

Balter is the Grant Denyer of Australian beer… Now I’ve typed it out, it’s a pretty sweet own from Graeme. Not that I agree but credit where credit is due.

Sam weighs in on the announcement of the winner:

Good beer but not number 1 😂

Which is a weird comment when it was just named #1. I don’t know if he meant to make his comment on the beer that got second and just clicked the wrong post, or if he’s just an idiot.

Lucy likens this list to a car accident. And how do we react to bad car accidents?

this top 100 makes me cringe…. like a bad car accident

The blood, the chaos, the broken glass, and the twisted metal of a car wreck?! That’s a major cringe from Lucy! No thanks.  Anyway, apparently flashy former NBA point guard, Jason Williams (aka White Chocolate) is making time to comment on Australian beer.

And this just proves that my stance of not voting this year was valid.
Big beer taking over absolutely pointless poll

J-Dub, I’m a huge fan. Love your work, but if you don’t vote, then it won’t count and big beer will win. Do you want that? Imagine if Shaq just gave up trying to recruit you to Miami, which is where you then went on to win a championship ring in 2005.  Like your famously high turnover rate, this comment isn’t ideal.

Kieran’s got something he needs to get off his chest:

Have to say Captain Sensible was not my idea of a good beer – insipid, boring midstrength crap?

Did you honestly “have” to say that?

Here’s Dave Hoops!

I just don’t vote in it hottest bets should be the best, not the most popular. So I refuse to participate. If you got an issue with that, tell someone who cares.

For a dude with a  fun sounding name, Dave Hoops is kind of a dick.

Ryeanders (that’s his insta screen name… it may also be his real life name) has a pretty snappy new name for the countdown:

100 worst none craft beers of the year. Why take the piss out of your own feed by spreading this nonsense. Why do it now when you wouldn’t do it any other day of the year?

100 worse none craft beers of the year. Really rolls off the tongue. Thanks Ryeanders. We’ll be in touch.

Father_o_Four is responding to a post that has links directly to analysis, infographics and information about the festival. Let’s see what he makes of the wealth of knowledge available to him:

Gage Roads Single Fin was #10….not sure how this list is built, but blergggg

Public vote. It’s built by vote.

Jd.redeemer74 is staging a boycott because Henry St Brewhouse didn’t top this poll.

That’s it I’m boycotting gabs festivals for now on, @henrystbrewhouse are Australia’s best beers, get a clue people this hottest 100 is absolute rubbish. Balter winning two years in a row is a joke🖕

It’s Australia’s smallest volume brewpub – that does 50 litres at a time to only sell within its premises – that’s who really should have won this national poll. Get a clue people!

Just going to finish on this one because WHAT. THE. FUCK. John have some self respect mate. People can read this.

I like pineapple on my pizza and in my Bolognese but I did not vote for this “beer”






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